Reasons & Advice by Maxine X, Owner of Maxine’s Adult Playground and Canada’s Top Adult Film Star
1. “I’ve never had an orgasm. Why?”
Through evolution, the woman’s orgasm is not necessary for reproduction.
A woman can have a baby and procreate without ever being aroused or climaxing.
Through evolution, the man’s climax shoots his genetic material in quantity into the woman and in many cases into many women over his lifetime.
Women take longer to reach climax. On average it’s approximately 20 minutes.
Women need to climb a “ladder” of arousal to reach ecstasy without any interruption to climax.
If that woman’s ladder to ecstasy is interrupted, such as stopping, doing something else or a phone distraction, the woman will have to start all over again and many will not reach their orgasm at all because the moment has been lost.
If you are enjoying the moment and you’re getting more and more aroused, tell your partner to, “Keep going and don’t stop!”
Learn to communicate what you want. It might be the only way to getting that orgasm you deserve.
2. “I’ve had orgasms before but not all the time. Why?”
Sometimes we just have different connections and different energies with our partners.
Not every sexual experience is the same each time.
Not all our partners are going to do the same things to us that feel good.
Couples need to communicate and learn and practice together.
Women, we can’t always rely on men to give us orgasms. We have to know our bodies well enough to help achieve our own orgasm.
Learn to play with toys and explore our own bodies.
Learn to communicate.
3. “Does a man’s penis size matter to have a better orgasm?”
I like to tell people that size doesn’t matter, but the truth is sometimes it does. Sometimes if it is bigger than average it stimulates the g-spot more. With a larger than average penis you can physically feel more friction. It hits the G-Spot better as well as having more pleasure in the stretch of the vaginal opening and it can have more power during intercourse. This can aid in a better orgasm.
Ladies, if you are feeling like you are not satisfied during intercourse because you don’t like the size of his man hood then you should really think about what is more important.
You should know if you are with him for the sex or if you are with him because you love him.
Don’t judge him for something he cannot control, you would not want him to do that to you.
I don’t believe women should rely solely on their man to give them orgasms.
Learn to stimulate your own clitoris at the same time while having sex such as using a finger or some sort of vibration like a bullet or the Hitachi Magic Wand.
If you know how to have one on your own, you will learn to have one with him as well.
“Remember: it is always better to be with a loving man with an average size penis than with a man who does not love you with a larger size penis.”
4. “What are some tips to having an orgasm?”
Practice with a toy by yourself, until you learn to give yourself an orgasm.
Figure out what works for you.
Ask other women for advice.
Read books and do some online research about the female body and the female orgasm.
Set your mood. Light candles, have a nice hot bubble bath, put on some lingerie & give each other massages.
Go to an adult store before your date night.
Talk about fun exciting things you want to do to each other or to explore.
Watch porn together.
Role Play and become a different character for added fun.
Do something exciting like set a scene from a kinky book.
Try some safe, consensual bondage.
Masturbate with your partner to see what each other enjoys.
Buy a G-Spot vibrator, a bullet or a Hitachi Magic Wand.
5. “Sometimes I can cum better when I am in a certain positions, like the Cow Girl (on top position), etc.”
Many women claim that when they are in certain positions, such as on top, they can have an orgasm better than some other positions.
Different sex positions can help stimulate our g-spot better but even more, it can stimulate our clitoris at the same time, which helps with having orgasms.
Experiment with different positions and find out what feels good.
Make a game of trying different positions.
Buy a Couples Game like some sex dice, sex cards or a coupon book with suggestions.
Find activities to explore your body and discover your orgasm.
Watch porn and act it out.
Look at a Porn Magazine or a Sex Education book.
Communicate exactly what you like to your partner.
5. “Sometimes I can’t cum with my partner, only by myself”
Not all women are alike. Not all orgasms are alike. But there are a lot of woman who need dual stimulation. Clitoral stimulation and G-Spot stimulation at the same time work best for many.
Some woman need a high powered vibration on their clitoris (such as a bullet or the Hitachi Magic wand) and anything less powerful will not get them off.
Take the initiative to do what works for you. If you need to put a bullet on your clitoris, then do it.
If you want to use penetration during oral, then just try it.
Go ahead and put a high powered Hitachi on your clitoris at the same time while you’re having sex with your partner.
If your man is offended by this, you will have to educate him that men and woman are different when it comes to our orgasms and if he cares about you, he’ll want you to have one no matter what.
Most women cannot cum with just penetration alone.
Most women need dual stimulation.
Most woman need a higher power vibration to aid in their orgasm.
Men can accomplish the dual stimulation if they are really skilled in sexual female pleasures, but it is a lot of work, patience and dedication on their part.
So, you can see that there a many different ways for women to achieve orgasm. The important thing is that you explore your body and learn what works for you and find a partner to share this sexy journey with!